


several arms down

by spikeymarshmallows



Series: Banned Together Bingo 2020 [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Dead Ben Hargreeves, Death, Drug Addict Klaus Hargreeves, Drugs, Gen, Hallucinogens, Mind/Mood Altering Substances, Weirdness, Worms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:41:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24244438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spikeymarshmallows/pseuds/spikeymarshmallows
Summary: He got distracted by the poster behind Ben's head. It was already psychedelicwithoutthe acid and now. Wow. Wasn't life beautiful?*In which Klaus gets high, and contemplates life and existence and death and... Oh. That's pretty.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves
Series: Banned Together Bingo 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1742827
Comments: 10
Kudos: 51
Collections: Banned Together Bingo 2020





	several arms down

**Author's Note:**

> For the [Banned Together Bingo 2020](https://bannedtogetherbingo2020.tumblr.com/)  
> Prompt: Worms Eat Body
> 
> Warnings, I suppose, for acid-induced strange imagery of things after death, about death, etc. And, you know, bugs eating ones body. Minor accidental self-harm due to drug use for a few lines too.

"You know," Klaus said idly, staring at the ceiling fascinated. If he let his eyes rest half-lidded, he could see whorls of movement, and sparkles glimmering through the swirls. If he didn't push it or try too hard, the movements grew colours.

The blanket below him was so very, very soft. He let his fingers twitch and revelled in the velvety texture. It felt so fucking good. Why couldn't he feel this good all the time?

"You know, what?" Ben asked, cross-legged beside him.

Klaus looked up at him, blinking. Ben looked normal and then… Oh. The longer he stared at Ben, the more his face shifted and morphed.

He made a questioning sound. "Yeah?"

"No, you said 'you know' and then stopped talking."

"Oh, did I?"

He went back to staring at the ceiling. He bent his knees. He wriggled his toes and marvelled at how the blanket felt beneath his feet.

When he closed his eyes it was dark only for a moment before strange kaleidoscopes started twisting and turning behind them.

"You know," Klaus said, opening his eyes again and glancing over at Ben. He stopped, entranced as Ben's hair began to twist and twirl, rising above his head like in that movie with the… With the… The flying horse… and the strong guy. And… The god of death. The… Klaus couldn't remember the name. He'd been pretty baked when he'd watched it. There had been singing. Lots of singing. Good singing. Something about zeroes.

And the god of death had blue hair that looked like it was on fire.

Right. That's what Ben's hair looked like. It looked like it was on fire, but not burning him. Just twirling and twisting and moving in an invisible breeze. Or maybe there was a breeze.

"Do you remember that movie with the strong guy and the dead people?"

"You're gonna have to narrow that one down a bit, buddy," Ben said drily.

"With the singing. And the… The flying horse. And the… The singing. The… The dead people."

"I'm not entirely sure this wasn't another acid-induced memory."

"No, no. It was real. I think." He paused. "Do you think reality is real?"

Ben shrugged. "Even if it's not, you should probably pretend it is."

"But why?"

"Because what's the alternative?"

"Ben, you can't ask me questions like that when I'm high. You know it hurts my head." Klaus flopped his arms out to his side.

Ben reached out to pat his arm, even though it went through him.

Klaus lowered his eyelids again, trying to see his own eyelashes through the little gap. He wasn't very successful, but it was still pretty.

"The… The movie with the strong guy. It was a cartoon. I think. And a flying horse. And a man with hair on fire. He was the god of death. And the… The dead floated in water. And the horse was… Did it have a horn?"

Klaus sat up abruptly.

Ben's eyes were wide.

"You won't fucking believe what I learned last week. Did you know that the underwater unicorns are _real_?"

"The… what?"

"The… The… Dolphin things. But they have giant horns. I thought they were like unicorns and that they were made up! They're not! I feel lied to, Ben. Lied to! What if that means unicorns are real and I've just been gaslighted this whole time?"

He got distracted by the poster behind Ben's head. It was already psychedelic _without_ the acid and now. Wow. Wasn't life beautiful?

"You didn't know narwhals were real?"

Klaus blinked away from the poster to look at Ben. "What's a narwhal?"

He heard Ben mutter an _oh my god_. Klaus got onto his knees and shuffled forward so that he could look out the window. He propped his chin up in his hands and stared at the world. Or rather, he stared at the courtyard.

Ben's statue did the same fiery movements that Ben's hair was doing.

"What do you think happens to our bodies after we die?"

"I would suppose it depends on how you were dealt with after death. I mean, if you're cremated, then the answer kind of speaks for itself."

"I heard that you can get your ashes turned into things. Like dildos. I hope I get made into a dildo."

"What, so you can be a pain in the ass even in death?"

Klaus grinned. "That wasn't the intention, but wouldn't that be _awesome_?"

"I think you and I have different definitions of awesome."

"But seriously," Klaus continued, staring at the ground. If he concentrated, cracks appeared in the ground and an iterative black hole slowly sank but never too far. "Do you think worms can make it through caskets?"

"Um?"

"I heard you can get a kind of burial that turns you into mushrooms. It's meant to be good for the environment. Or maybe it's trees. Maybe you turn into a tree. Do you think your skeleton would grow out with the tree eventually? Man, that'd be so creepy."

"Klaus, come on buddy, try to think happy thoughts." There was now a touch of concern in Ben's voice. Klaus forgot to blink until his eyes were burning before he blinked rapidly again.

"These are happy thoughts," Klaus said, still staring intently at the ground. "But. The wood probably rots, right? But do you think the worms get through in time to eat your body? Do worms eat bodies? I don't know these things, Ben, I didn't go to a real school." He turned around. "Oh my god, Ben. Do I know how to read?"

Ben let his face fall into his hand. There should have been a noise of skin meeting skin, but there wasn't.

"Yes, Klaus. You know how to read."

"Oh. Good. That's a relief." He stared out the window, but didn't really see anything. Instead, he dragged his fingertips back and forth over the blanket before trailing up his thighs. He was wearing a soft grey skirt, one that brushed the tops of his knees. It had been warm lately, but the day had started to cool. The sky was filling with dark grey storm clouds and the air felt heavy. He played with the hem of the skirt, enjoying the way the seams felt, rubbing back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.

"I think," Klaus said, no longer rubbing the material of his skirt and instead drawing little circles on his legs. He liked the way it made his skin tingle, and the ripple effects that followed after. "I think, if I can't be made into a dildo when I die, I think I'd like worms to eat my body."

"You're weird," Ben said, but when Klaus finally looked at him, there was a little smile on his face.

"I mean, sometimes, when things are wearing off, it feels like centipedes or… or… ants. Those ants that um. The… The ants… With the fire…"

"Fire ants?"

"Yes! Those are the ones! Fire ants." He shuddered.

"What about them?"

"What about what?" Klaus cocked his head.

"What about fire ants?"

Klaus shuddered again. "I hate fire ants. Or, I think I hate them. It sometimes feels like they're eating me." He could feel them crawling over his body and even though he wasn't in pain, he could feel the biting as if he were. He took a long and shaky exhale. He didn't realised he'd closed his eyes until he opened them to check that, no, no, there were no ants crawling over his body.

Except, oh, there were.

No, no, it was just the acid.

There were no ants.

He took another shaky breath, murmuring to himself "no no no, think happy thoughts. Orgasms. Hiding Diego's protein sources. Mom's lipstick. Stealing Allison's hair products. Ooh, Allison's hair products."

He opened his eyes. "Is Allison home?"

"No. I don't think she's been back here in a couple of years."

Klaus sagged against the window ledge and pouted. "That's a shame. I wonder what her hair feels like now. I bet it still smells pretty."

"Did you make a habit of sniffing our sisters hair?"

"No," Klaus pouted. "I just liked cuddles." He had. He did. He'd curl up with whoever would let him, and try to plaster his body as close to theirs as possible. The only other sibling who'd allowed more cuddles than Diego was Allison. And Allison's hair had always smelled so pretty when Klaus had tucked his face into her neck, or rested his chin on the top of her head.

Ben snorted.

"All the boys always smelled the same. Like… Like… Boy."

"What an astute observation."

"But you all did!" Klaus said, flailing his arms. Oh, that felt weird. He did it again just to make note of the sensations. It felt... oof-y.

"We did all have to use the same shampoo and conditioner," Ben pointed out.

"Except Allison. She got to use nice stuff. But sometimes, if I did her nails, she let me use hers."

Outside, there was the shuddering rumble of thunder. The sound pulsated in his head, and Klaus could feel it down into his bones. He leant against the windowsill again before deciding to push the window open. The cool air licked at his skin.

"It's better than worms eating my skin," Klaus mused.

"What?"

"What what?" Klaus hummed.

"Worms… eating your skin? I thought it was fire ants."

Klaus started to feel the tickle and crawl of ants over his skin. He scratched at his arms, trying to rid himself of the feelings.

"Klaus, Klaus!" Ben was shouting at him. Klaus looked up at Ben. His hair was back to normal but his face kept moving, just slightly.

"What?"

"Stop scratching."

Klaus looked down at his forearms and frowned. He was covered in pink lines from where he'd been scratching, but it wasn't anything too bad. No broken skin or anything.

There was a flash of lightning.

Klaus counted one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Miss—before there was the roar of thunder.

He leant out the window, excited.

"Get back inside, you idiot. You can't fucking fly."

Klaus waved offhandedly at Ben.

"Calm your tiddies, Benny. Maybe I have some secret, unknown ability to levitate."

"You _do_ have the ability to levitate, jackass. You just haven't been sober in thirteen years and haven't been able to use it since."

"Oh yeah," Klaus said as he grinned. His face felt strange, like the muscles in it were doing things they didn't usually do.

The rain finally started. It was a few droplets, a pattering on the roof outside and then… It began to pour in earnest. Klaus waved his open hands out into the rain, feeling the splash of water on his newly-tattooed palms.

He watched intently as the ground below started to go dark with wet. The ground kept shifting and swirling, but it was doing so with less intensity than before. Hmm, maybe it was starting to wear off.

He'd take another tab in a minute.

Or two.

The ground was just _really, really_ interesting.

"You know," Klaus began, drumming his fingers on his cheeks, resting his chin in his hand again.

"Do I know what?" Ben asked, coming up beside him to rest against the windowsill.

"Oh. I've forgotten."

"Oh." Ben laughed.

"I think—"

"—first time for everything—"

"—okay, that was a weak effort for you, man. Weak effort."

"My apologies. I'll try to do better next time."

"See to it that you do."

Ben laughed again and Klaus did too.

"Now, what were you thinking?"

"Was I thinking something?"

Ben sighed deeply. "That was my fault for interrupting."

"You interrupted?"

"Yep."

"Oh. Okay." Klaus drew his knees to his chest, leaning back against the edge of the windowsill as he continued to stare at the world outside.

"I think," Klaus said slowly, watching as a bird flew and landed on the ground. "I think when I die, I'd like there to be no casket. And I want the worms to eat me. I think it'd be nicer than being eaten by ants. Their mouths would be softer. Squishier. Plus, I bet it'd be good for the environment."

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind," Ben said, corner of his mouth quirking up.

"I'll have to make sure I take a _lot_ of drugs. Hey Benny, do you think worms can get high?"

Ben stopped and looked like he was actually contemplating it. "I don't know. I don't think you should test that out, though."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Klaus sighed.

Ben shifted so that he was leaning against the other windowsill, drawing his knees up too so that he was mirroring Klaus' position. If Ben were corporeal, their toes would be touching.

"Some days I wish I could hug you," Klaus said, tilting his head back.

"Some days I wish the same, you giant idiot."

"Hey Benny?"

"Yes, Klaus?" Ben said, expression a wonderful combination of long-suffering and amused. It made Klaus grin, and then poke at his mouth because the sensation felt weird.

"I think you're pretty neat," Klaus said. "Bury me in worms." He closed his eyes and imagined how weird and squishy the grave would be.

Klaus closed his eyes and let his arm dangle out the window, enjoying the rain that splattered against it and the tingling that came after.


End file.
